crush crushed

I missed a heart beat. Next, I could felt pulse rate racing up. I had always wished this to happen, but never expected that my wish can one day come true. Few steps away, on the opposite side of the hall where I just entered, right to the marriage reception stage of our common school friend, there He was standing dressed in a dark blue blazer and white shirt.

I soon shifted my eyes to something else in an opposite corner. In an attempt to show that I `am not looking at you'. This was something I had been habituated to do, only in His case. And, I realised nothing had changed inside me. Though it's been more than 12 years now. Before also I could never know whether He looked that I looked or the stolen glances were mutual. And this day , when after parting as school mates when we met as grown ups, still those questions remained questions.

It was our friend’s marriage, but it was me who had been experiencing a rush of adrenaline. Nervousness. A Butterfly in stomach. . I had been known to this complicated yet serene feeling. For few years- from class VIII to X- this beautiful feeling had become a daily doze that I had fed on in my teen years.


The moment I would enter into school campus from bicycle stand to corners of ground, through long corridors to classroom my heart would start aching to have His glimpse. My day would start only If I could find some signs that He has come to the school. Or the entire day would remain a long dark night. But I never approached him. For two years, I passed my eight long hours of school watching him, and rest of the day thinking about him, but never approached him. Last when I saw him it was my last day at the school after class X. I had only one thing on my mind when changing the school- if I had one chance to talk to him?

After years, as luck would have it, I could see him again. This time I did not want to miss the chance to talk to Him. I should not miss an opportunity to talk to someone whose very thought can still bring smile on me. I did not wish to miss a conversation with as person whose memories has a power to make me feel light as air. There were so many questions inside me-what did he study, where he has been living, married or single like me. No No, I did not think to marry him then. In school I had never thought beyond stolen glances. And Now? I don't know? I was sure about only one thing - I wanted to know all the things about him.

Few other boys from our batch were also invited for the reception. I were in touch with two of them. They called me to join them. I tried to look as normal as possible. The distance between me and Him was of hardly ten steps, but It took over a decade to take those few steps

There I was facing him, for the first time. Again, I made a point to show that, `I am not interested'. I greeted all the others one by one. Then, came the time to greet the last person. ``Hi'', he replied to my greetings. And, then there was a hand shake. It was the moment I had longed for in my teens. The eye contact and the hand shake should have been magical. I should feel thunderstorm and lightening. Suddenly every one around me should have started singing and dancing because this was the moment a very young me had longed for.

Not only others, but even I was not dancing. I could feel that there was no life in his voice and hand shake was almost dead. Against my expectations, spark did not fly. Like school days, He was still appeared to be introvert and shy. A quality that I liked in a 14-year-old growing teenager, had made looked a 26-year-old man timid . While we all school friends making comments on each other recollecting past events, he stood among us like a statue.

I got some basic details about him like which college he went and that we still in the same city. The most important thing. He during our brief conversation also told me about his singlehood. But some how, I did not feel any desire to make a rapport and remain in contact. To my surprise, I took dinner with one who was the most notorious in our class and whom I hated the most. In between, I did take few glances, to take update on his activities. I saw him quietly taking dinner with our other classmates. I decided to leave venue early, though they-including Him- asked me to stay little longer.

On a way back home, when I recollected what happened in last couple of hours- and I could feel me going emotionless. I should be happy after all I could meet my teen crush. I struggled hard to convince my self that something great had happened few hours back and I should have been very happy.

And soon I recollected what had happened 12 years back and there was a grin, an ear to ear.